Thank God I'm Not Perfect.

Wow, thank God im not perfect...

I randomly read blogs on myspace. Most of the time, I have NO idea who the person is. This may sound weird or stalker-ish, but I like knowing what people are thinking. I like knowing how other people are viewing life. I like knowing that we all have the same questions and insecurities. Its fun for me; it makes me feel like less of a loner because people are going through the same stuff.

I came across this profile of a 17 yo living in Missouri. He was posting blogs about how people always tell him he is perfect. He is always told he looks amazing and is always getting compliments. People steal his pictures off of myspace and post them as their own. He is constantly being told he has the best eyes and hair and lips and all that stuff. But then, he takes a turn and describes how lonely he is. That he is aware that he is attractive but is so lonely. All of the compliments are empty. No one tells him any truth; its all hollow. He is constantly comparing himself to others and really doesn't see anything deeper in life than his looks. Here is an excerpt from one of his posts... :

"there still seems something to be missing something just doesnt feel right but what is it ? i have no idea Maybe in the end Everything is truely nothing at all"

How can someone get all of these compliments and be told they are perfect and still have no hope? I mean, people pay thousands of dollars to look certain ways and go through pain to achieve the attributes that some people naturally have. Why don't people understand that their happiness and hope and fulfillment in life is not based on bone structure or how skinny they are?

I mean, this kid should have the best self esteem in the world right? I mean, people steal his pictures and post them as their own! Think about this: people would rather steal someone else's identity than have to show the world their own. And they choose this guys'! Why isn't he loving every minute of it and soaking up the limelight? I mean, the world tells us that happiness is in the looks right?

I just didn't understand how Mr. Perfect could go from getting compliments left and right to questioning the meaning of life all in one fragmented sentence...and then i thought, maybe i shouldnt focus on my looks either..

Ha! Well come on, ME focusing on my LOOKS...doesnt happen right? wrong.

HOWEVER, thank God im not perfect though. I mean, I worry about my looks and love wearing expensive clothes, but I have tons of imperfections. And I'm happy for them...they keep me grounded. My shitty green eyes, pale skin, greasy hair, and crooked teeth remind me that I cant put all of my hope into my looks, because according to the world around me, im not attractive...

I can put my hope in bigger things than the fullness of my lips. ha

With that being said, I love myself...I have bad days, but in the end, I have myself and Im happy with what ive got.

Moral of the story:

You are good enough. You do have it all together. Take the compliment and live your life.

Voyeur by Nick Davis

Staring at you from across the room,

You keep your face hidden with the hat.

Checking the time as minute by minute passes,

You want to be cut.

Lifting the brim to reveal perfection,

A gleaming face of fatigue and sorrow.

I've been watching you, you know,

Whispering in the ears of those who will listen,

You smile in satisfaction of making me rage.

You want this cut, you want this bond, you love me.

Staring at you from across the room,

My hair stands on end.

The lump in my throat makes it hard to breath.

We both know your fate and I embrace it.

Noises and chatter all around as I see you.

I'll give you one last breath before it's all over.

I'll give you one last smile before I take you.

I'll give you one more thought of hope.

I'll give you what you really want.

A ditch to rot in.

This is the disclaimer

This is the diclaimer.

This blog will always be unscripted and honest.

It will be mature in content.

It will make the reader think.

Comments are welcome.